1. They’ve got mad scars. All that chopping, dicing, deboning, and slicing has resulted in some seriously impressive wounds. And what’s more masculine than a guy who has a physical emblem of his high tolerance for pain? There’s no chef out there who doesn’t have a few gruesome stories on how a slip of the knife left half of his pointer finger dangling from his hand, and the scars to prove it. Most of those stories also involve him wrapping said finger in a towel, finishing off dinner service during rush hour, then eventually heading to the hospital for a series of stitches. Scars are a man’s rite of passage. They’re Darwinian indicators affirming he’s gone to battle, and won. And chefs? They’ve got a lot of them.
2. They dig relationships. Ever notice that most chefs have a wife, kids, and dogs? Hell, a lot of them even have their own gardens. And these are guys who don’t have a lot of time on their hands, but they understand that relationships take prioritizing and balance. XY chromosomes need to take note. If some men can run around in a 110 degree kitchen for 12 hours a day, and still find a way to maintain a relationship – you can too. Hollywood players who can’t call you back because they were sitting in meetings with actresses all day? Pass. But a man who braves through countless burns to impeccably flash-fry tilapia and knows how to pick up the phone? Hot. Seriously, nothing is sexier than a guy that can cook and commit.
3. Because biology says so. A chef is the modern day equivalent of a forager. Remember that time you swooned because the guy you were dating got himself to Ralph’s and then cooked up that nice salmon and a side of asparagus? Well, chefs take that whole hunter-gatherer thing to a new level. Many chefs slaughter their own pigs and make charcuterie out of it too. It’s our primitive, instinctive nature to be drawn to a man who nourishes us, and gives us what we need to live. A chef will never let you go hungry. They are the ultimate providers.
4. They eat. Finding a guy in L.A. who doesn’t bow to a handful of dietary restrictions is like spotting a grain of risotto in a sack of basmati rice. I dated a guy who refrained from eating pork attributing it to the intellectual level of pig. I dated another guy who wouldn’t eat beef citing the environmental impact they have on the world. I’ve dated guys who wouldn’t eat after midnight, guys who wouldn’t eat before pool parties, and guys who have given me looks of utter disgust when I’ve ordered foie gras. I want a man that eats cheeseburgers and a man that drinks scotch. I want a man who will eat the buttery bowl of cacio e pepe I’ll whip up for him at 3 am, and a man that has enough of an open mind to try spam (which for the record, I love). I’m not searching for a quagga, for goodness sake. I’m looking for a man who eats. If I have to date a chef to achieve these requirements, so be it.
5. They change the world. Wylie Dufresne dreamed up a poached egg with an edible shell. From the inside of a truck, Roy Choi fed the masses with $2 tacos and taught us that you didn’t have to make a lot of money to eat well. Jamie Oliver started battling obesity by teaching our children how to cook. David Chang dared us to, get this, read (!) by founding Lucky Peach long after the world mourned the death of print journalism. It seems just about every weekend you can find chefs donating their time and services to raise money for various charities; feeding the homeless, educating the public. Chefs are leaders. Feeders. Artists. Scientists. Givers. Husbands. Fathers. Innovators. And perhaps most of all, they’re dreamers. That’s more than five reasons, right there.